behind of my autism

ok well, sblmnya gausah dibaca gpp. gapenting bgt.

hm jd memulai karir sebagai sesosok yg di bilang "autis" sbnrnya ini bohongan doang sih yaa.......tp gmn gt deh. awalnya gue ngga begini2 bgt, dari kls 7 apalagi.......eeh pas kls 8 sih baru rada2, pas kls 9 baru deh. mungkin penyebab nya krn stress menjadi single krn dulu kan......canda. ok hidup sendiri ditengah rintangan hidup yg ckp kejam ini emg sungguh berat bgt tp beberapa org jg merasakan hal yg sama, oleh krn itu......gue mencoba melupakan hal2 masa lalu yg ckp sudah berakhir, ok bukan nya mau flashback atau gimana ya tp gue termasuk orang yg "terlalu melupakan masa lalu begitu aja, dan selalu mikir itu negatif pdhl itu bnyk sisi positif jg yg bisa diambil" itu yg indira bilang pas gue diramal gt.......ese jd promosi. jd cara melupakan nya itu yaa.......seneng2, gaboleh sedih, galau, dll. lagipula ngga guna jg sbnrnya. dan hidup begini lumayan, beban2 yg dulu ckp terangkat.

mungkin gue dulu emg lemah, hidup tergantung seseorg yg special gt lah. tp untuk kali ini alhamdulillah engga :') keluarga&tmn cukup mengisi segalanya. walaupun sempet ada pikiran nangis dll, tp.......buat apa??? ngga akan ngerubah segalanya tp mgkn emg bikin lega. dan krn skrg lbh sering ketawa ngakak gtgt jd jarang nangis, dan org2 menyebut itu............autis. ha ha.

ok maaf bgt ini ckp gapenting, tp sekali2 bolelaa.

late paste

this page has pasted from my document, when I was still in 8th grade or 7th.........forget.
but it was has some changed. ok. this is it!


the most favorite view, which I love is.......

 

SUNSET!!! yes, as i know.......the last i was saw it at the beach on March 09', really miss that time :'(

the most favorite place, which I love is..........

yap, BEACH. with clear waters and also white sands. it's completely cool.

the most favorite animal, which I love is.......

PIGEON. because it symbolizes everything :')


the most favorite boy, who I love was.........
       YOU!!!




and, lets mix all of the words!
someday, I'll see the beautiful sunset in the nature beach when the pigeon was singin and go out,
also a couple were there. yes....they're you & me, arent they?
and we spend this day....together <3 <3 <3
once more, no a distruber!


look at this pict,

i like the moment of the picture.

behind the love stories

the 1st person:
you're the kindest boy i ever had.
you teached me the meaning of love.
either the best or the worst memories of you still in my mind
i always try slowly to move on from you, but i can't love the others.
and you've changed since i lost you.

problem:

i can't show that i'm still loving you because.....(please god, honestly it's the most problem I had, which always made me cry all the time)
__________________________

the 2nd person:

i couldnt completely loving you.
but I felt comfortable enough when i was near you.
now, you've  been her boyfriend
and to be your friend that's why i need you.

problem:

i can't loving you because you were w/ her. but to be a friend, enough & it's better for us.
__________________________

the 3rd person:

you've a bad character.
in the past i thought that some girls have played by you.
but after I know that you were seriously love your ex-girlfriend, that's wrong.
and I feel like you, i'm sorry because i've make you down.

problem:

you thought that I'm still like him, and I think the same that you're still like her.
__________________________

and the points is.......... i havent someone special so far, because all of the doubts.

dirilis dgn perubahan dari memo hp.

unimportant activity

when teenagers feel so hurted bcs someone, it called "galau" isnt it?

what would u do when u feel like that????

for me....it just "unimportant activity" which havent a good benefits.
but if u do that, you'll feel comfortamble enough bcs you've  let out all of your feelings especially, some feeling for him.
they usually to become sad at the moment and then.......cry.

ok let's begin. i would do these things when i was gettin' it.

first, it's the most important thing, especially when im still in school, i'll buy it!

EAT. i didnt care what people say.
              i didnt care that i'll be fat.......um i want it, im so thin you know.
              but my money will be rapidly exhausted :'(


second, ok it's ateenager's usuall thing,

and 3rd, write something on the wall

  ok, its like......a baby. but i often did it under my desk.

4th, it just ordinary. but listen! after several months or years later, you'll feel like come back to previosly time when you read it.

diary.

5th. sleep, it will make you to be stronger for all that you feel.

<3 you might enjoy when you've a great dream.

        and.............dont crying girls!!!

now.........i wanna be angry like scar rawrrrrrrr!!!!!

cant I?????????

no, i cant. but i should be patient like simba :')

i'll do it perfectly so that it'll make me out from all of that doubts.